Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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