i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
