He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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