lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
