She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
