thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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