its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
