I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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