Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
