I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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