its not stalking. its research.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Randomize
