Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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