i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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