Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
