I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
