This is not my ceiling
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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