Can i not drive my cunt home
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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