I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
