she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
