I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
