He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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