so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Sext me about skeletons
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
