she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The beers last night were like the tears from god
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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