I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
