We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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