Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Come on in and take your pants off
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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