The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
