Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Randomize