remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
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