i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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