Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
