Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
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