help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
