I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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