Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
