Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
