I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
it's like heaven, but drunker
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Randomize
