lets start a swedish sibling band together
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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