I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
