you mean i was at the winter classic?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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