I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
