so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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