Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
