I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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