so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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