She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
