you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I did not marry a roomba.
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