She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
from now on my penis is your penis
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
