But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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