i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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